Michelle Obama on dating: ‘You can’t Tinder your way into a long-term relationship’

Michelle Obama offered relationship advice to her audience during a recent episode of her candid podcast.

“Barack [Obama] knows the story. When we were engaged, I got mad at him about something and I took my engagement ring off, and I said, forget this, who needs this, and I threw the ring,” she remembers.

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With guest Conan O’Brien, the two discussed dating, marriage, and the work it takes to uphold happy and healthy relationships. Titled They Do: Talking Marriage with Conan O’Brien, the over 40-minute conversation got personal for them both.

“While you run into a lot of different people when you’re First Lady, you don’t run into a lot of people like Conan. Obviously, he is very funny. But when get to know Conan, and spend a little time with him, you get to also see his warmth and his charm,” the former first lady remarked during the episode.

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The discussion ranged from choosing a partner to sustaining the relationship through its ups and downs. Mrs. Obama believes people should look at dating like choosing a basketball team.

“You don’t want any weak links, you don’t want somebody that you can dominate, you don’t want somebody who’s kind of a loser, right. And also, if you’re on a team, you’ve got to be able to do everything, especially in basketball, it’s like, you would never pick somebody that says, I only dribble,” she said.

O’Brien agreed with Obama and likened his wife to superstar athlete Lebron James.

“Now you’ve got me thinking about marrying LeBron, and this is taking a turn,” he said. “My wife, Liza is LeBron James.”

Obama also spoke about being patient in relationships, saying there is no quick method to finding someone to spend a lifetime with.

“There’s no magic way to make that happen, except getting the basics of finding somebody, being honest about wanting to be with them, to date them seriously, to plan on making a commitment, to date them, seeing where it goes, and then making it happen. There’s work and practice that goes into [it.] I’m going to get off the apps, and I’m going to actually ask this girl out, and I’m going to take her out for a few months,” she explained.

“That’s what dating is. You can’t Tinder your way into a long-term relationship.”

The conversation continued to flow into their own marriages and their individual approaches to conflict and more. Mrs. Obama shared an image of herself and her husband, former president, Barak Obama, on Instagram while promoting the podcast.

“This relationship can be one of the most foundational pieces of our identities—bringing us so much joy, meaning, and support every single day. But one thing is for sure: It also takes a lot of work; a lot of honesty with ourselves and our partners,” she wrote.

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