Nick Cannon reveals suicidal thoughts while mourning friend who died by suicide

Nick Cannon speaks onstage during the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce 2019 State of The Entertainment Industry Conference held at Lowes Hollywood Hotel on November 21, 2019 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Michael Tran/Getty Images)

The bad news continues to pile up for Nick Cannon and it seems to be taking a tragic toll on him.

With news of the suicide of his friend, rapper Ryan Bowers, Cannon took to this Instagram to honor him, while disclosing thoughts of taking his own life.

In the post, which features a photo of Cannon and Bowers, the lengthy caption reads: “After waking up and barely rising from my own dark contemplation of continuing my physical existence on this planet, this powerful warrior actually had the balls to do it.”

READ MORE: Nick Cannon concerns fans with cryptic tweets after podcast scandal

The actor-cum-comedian-cum-TV host befriended Bowers and signed the rapper to his record label. Unfortunately, according to Cannon’s post, Bowers was shot in his home by San Diego police officers in 2019 and was left in a coma for months.

Cannon, 39, supported Bowers. He was a frequent presence to Bowers’ hospital room and rehab sessions to restore his walking and speaking abilities.

Bowers eventually regained enough strength to record and perform again, but told Cannon “Everything still hurts.”

The post ended with Cannon writing: “I can’t help but think if I wasn’t so engulfed in my own bulls*** I could’ve been there for you when you finally took your life after several attempts… F*** this place!!”

View this post on Instagram

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse… 2020 is definitely the most fucked up year I’ve ever witnessed! After waking up & barely rising from my own dark contemplation of continuing my physical existence on this planet, this powerful warrior actually had the balls to do it. I’ve said it once and I will say it again, this was the strongest dude I’ve ever met! Just over a year ago a San Diego Police Officer rushed in his home and unjustifiably shot him placing him in a coma for months. I stood by his bedside and promised him that if he made it out & fought the good fight that I would make his dream come true and put his album out and share his story with the world. He fought and fought, he woke up, they stitched him up, he learned to walk and talk again and within months we were back in the studio recording. Even through his strength he would whisper to me that “Everything Still Hurts”. His music was definitely his safe haven and it was amazing. Paying for lawyers, putting money in his pocket, even putting the music together all meant nothing because I feel like I failed my little brother. The Cops will get away with shooting another kid, everyone will just look at this as yet another loving farewell post, but to me @ryanbowersob was so much more than that. Once again my brother you have put this world in perspective for me. You would do that quite often because I never understood how someone who was experiencing sooo much pain could still laugh and smile through it all. This photo was the last time we seen each other in person. It was your first show back! Soldout crowd in our hometown San Diego and you rocked it!! You were so happy!! Proved to so many that you could do it and that you were Super Human! The greatest comeback I ever saw!! We almost made it little bro! But I guess even flying Super Heros have to land eventually. But I am certain that your energy will never die and your Spirit is eternal, so I ask you still to forgive me for letting you down Warrior. I can’t help but think if I wasnt so engulfed in my own bullshit I could’ve been there for you when you finally took your life after several attempts… Fuck this place!! #CantWin #ForLosing?

A post shared by NICK CANNON (@nickcannon) on Jul 18, 2020 at 11:33pm PDT

Cannon has been dealing with a lot lately.

ViacomCBS terminated their decades-long relationship after Cannon made anti-Semitic remarks during his radio podcast “Cannon’s Class.”

The statement in question starts at the 48:20 mark in the above video.

ViacomCBS had been a professional home for Cannon since his teenage years on Nickelodeon‘s “All That” sketch comedy show and all the way to his longtime MTV comedy improv series “Wild ‘n Out,” which is currently in its 15th season.

Cannon announced that he would “take some time away” from his radio show via Twitter.

Morning radio family. I have decided to take some time away from my radio show so I can commit myself to deeper, more thorough reflection and education.

— Nick Cannon (@NickCannon) July 16, 2020

After apologizing for the remarks he made, some on Black Twitter criticized him for doing so.

The “Mask Singer” host took to his Twitter to post about his disappointment at all who criticized him for his apology.

“I hurt an entire community and it pained me to the core, I thought it couldn’t get any worse. Then I watched my own community turn on me and call me a sell-out for apologizing,” Cannon stated.

I hurt an entire community and it pained me to my core, I thought it couldn’t get any worse. Then I watched my own community turn on me and call me a sell-out for apologizing. Goodnight. Enjoy Earth???

— Nick Cannon (@NickCannon) July 17, 2020

He ended the tweet with a cryptic message: “Goodnight. Enjoy Earth.”

That closing passage became more alarming when he followed it with another tweet: “Y’all can have this planet. I’m out!”

Y’all can have this planet. I’m out!

— Nick Cannon (@NickCannon) July 17, 2020

According to Deadline, Cannon’s forthcoming syndicated talk show, which had been scheduled for a September launch via Lionsgate, has now been pushed to the fall of 2021.

CNN reports that Fox stands by Cannon and that he will remain the host of “The Mask Singer.”

According to the Hollywood Reporter, it was renewed for a fourth season.

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*If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one or would like emotional support, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 or visit the Lifeline Chat. The Crisis Text Line can also be reached by texting “Hello” to 741741.